LITTLE MISS MUFFETT TOUGHS IT OUT.

By

Allen Lyne

The first production took place at Theatre 62, Adelaide (Now called Star Theatres)

 

©  1994 Allen Lyne

    8 Redgate Court

    Moana Heights

    South Australia  5169

    Ph (08) 8 327 4142

LITTLE MISS MUFFETT ENTERS AS THE LIGHTS COME UP.

LMM

(SINGS)  LITTLE MISS MUFFETT SAT ON HER TUFFETT

              EATING HER CURDS AND WEIGH

              ALONG CAME A SPIDER AND SAT DOWN BESIDE

              HER AND FRIGHTENED MISS MUFFETT AWAY

              AND FRIGHTENED MISS MUFFETT AND

               FRIGHTENED MISS MUFFETT

               AND FRIGHTENED MISS MUFFETT AWAY.

Hello everyone... My name is Little Miss Muffett and I like telling stories to people.

Do you all like telling stories...?  Do you all like listening to stories?  Well, I'm going

to tell you the best story in the world.  But first I need my special storytelling chair. 

I'll go and get it.  Back in a minute.

MEDIUM MASTER MUFFETT ENTERS

MMM

(Sings)   MEDIUM MASTER MUFFETT SAT ON HIS TUFFETT

             EATING HIS CURDS AND WEIGH

             ALONG CAME A SPIDER AND SAT DOWN BESIDE HIM

             AND FRIGHTENED MASTER MUFFETT AWAY

Hello everyone.  I'm Medium Master Muffett and I'm a storyteller

and I'm here today to tell you a story.  But first I need my

special storytelling chair.  I'll just go and get it.

Back in a minute.

MMM MOVES TO EXIT RIGHT AS LMM ENTERS LEFT,

WITH THE STORYTELLING CHAIR.

LMM

Here it is.  Here's the special storytelling chair...

And when I sit in it, I'm the storyteller.

MMM

I was looking for that.

LMM

Well, I found it first.

MMM

But I was going to tell a story.

LMM

Well you can't, because I'm the storyteller because

I'm sitting in the storytelling chair.

MMM

It's not your storytelling chair.  It belongs to grandpa.

LMM

I know that.  But he's not here.

MMM

Here he comes!

LMM LEAPS FROM THE CHAIR AND MMM SITS.

MMM

Ha ha, tricked you.

LMM

Oooooooooh!  You're not fair Medium Master Muffett.  You're

always playing tricks on me.

MMM

Now I'm in the storytelling chair, so I'm the storyteller.

LMM

No you're not.  Grandpa is and you wait if he catches you

sitting in his chair.

MMM

He's not here, so I'm going to tell a story.

BIG MISTER MUFFETT IS HEARD, OFF.

LMM

Look out, here he comes.

MMM

Oh, don't tell him I was sitting in his chair.

LMM

And don't tell him I was sitting in his chair.

Both (to audience)  Don't tell him we were sitting in his chair.

MMM

Where shall we hide?

LMM

Behind the curtains.

MMM

Don't tell him we're hiding, will you?

BIG MISTER MUFFETT ENTERS.

BMM

(sings)  BIG MISTER MUFFETT SAT ON HIS TUFFETT

            EATING HIS CURDS AND WHEY

            ALONG CAME A SPIDER AND SAT DOWN BESIDE HIM

            AND FRIGHTENED MISTER MUFFETT AWAY

Hello everyone... I'm Big Mister Muffett and I'm a storyteller.  In fact, I'm the only storyteller in the world and I'm here today to tell you a very special story called Mr. Grumblepuss.  But first I have to get my special storytelling chair.

HE MOVES TO EXIT AND BUMPS INTO THE CHAIR.

BMM

Ooooooohwa.  Who put that there?

HE PLAYS THIS DEPENDING ON WHAT THE AUDIENCE GIVES.

BMM

No-one is ever allowed to touch my special storytelling chair

unless I say they can.  I'll just move it over here into the centre

and I'll tell you this special story.  It's a bout a grumpy old

man named Mr. Grumblepuss and there are two children

in the story named Bronwen and Darren and also their mum. 

Here we go...

BMM TELLS MR. GRUMBLEPUSS

BMM

And that's the story of Bronwen, Darren and Mr. Grumblepus

and how the two children changed his mind and made him a

better person.  Did you like the story of Mr. Grumblepuss? 

Do you know anyone like Mr. Grumblepuss?

Who?  Who do you know that's like Mr. Grumblepus...?

MMM JUDGES HIS ENTRANCE WITHIN THE AD LIBS THAT

FOLLOW.  HE MAY JUST WALK IN AND STAND WATCHING

UNTIL HE FINDS AN OPPORTUNE MOMENT TO INTERVENE.

MMM

I do.  I know someone like Mr. Grumblepuss.

BMM

Who?  Who do you know who's like Mr. Grumblepuss?

MMM

You!   You're like Mr. Grumblepuss.

BMM

Oooooooh!  Did you hear what He said?  He said I'm like Mr. Grumblepuss.

Why am I like Mr. grumblepuss?

MMM

Because you won't let anyone else tell stories.

BMM

That's because I'm the only storyteller in the world.

MMM

No you're not.

BMM

I am so.

MMM

Not.

BMM

Am.

LMM

Stop it...!  Stop it!  You're always shouting at each other.  Cut it out.

BMM

I'm allowed to shout at him.  He's my grandson.

LMM

You're not supposed to shout at anyone.  It's not polite.

BMM

What were you doing behind there anyway.

LMM

I was listening to your story.

BMM

Why didn't you sit with everyone else?

LMM

Because you always get funny when I listen to your stories

BMM

Funny?  I do not!

LMM

You do so.  Doesn't he.

MMM

Yes.  Go on, admit it grandpa.  You always get funny when Little

Miss Muffett listens to one of your stories.

BMM

That's because you keep telling me that you can tell stories.

LMM

I can!

BMM

No you can't.

MMM

Why can't she?

BMM

Because I'm the only storyteller in the world.  (to audience)

 Aren't I...?  What do you mean, no?

MMM

They know your not the only storyteller in the world.  I can tell stories.

BMM

No you can't

MMM

Can.

BMM

Can't.

LMM

Don't start that again.  Look, grandpa,  we want to tell stories.

You should let us tell some.

MMM

Yes, stop being so selfish.

BMM

Selfish?  Me?  Selfish?  I'm the most unselfish person in the world.

MMM

No you're not.  You won't listen to us tell stories.

BMM

Because I'm the only storyteller in the world.

MMM

Oh, stop saying that.

BMM

Well it's true.   And I'm the best storyteller too.

LMM

Anyway, there are more ways to tell stories than just

doing it your way.

BMM

What?

LMM

You can tell stories lots of different ways.  Can't you...?

BMM

No you can't.  Stories are only told by one person

telling them and everyone else listening.

LMM TAKES ON A MONSTER SHAPE.

LMM

Boo.

BMM LEAPS INTO MMM'S ARMS  MMM PUTS HIM DOWN.

LMM AND MMM ARE LAUGHING

MMM

Boy, Little Miss Muffett sure scared you.

MMM MIMES BMM BEING FRIGHTENED.

BMM

I wasn't frightened at all.  I was just... pretending.

MMM

Pretending?

BMM

Yes.  You knew I was pretending, didn't you...?

LMM

Anyway, what I was trying to prove was that you can tell stories

different ways.  You can even tell stories without words.

BMM

Ha!  Stories without words?  Nobody can tell stories without words.

MMM

Little Miss Muffett and I can.  We've been practicing.

BMM

You don't believe people can tell stories without words, do you...? 

Alright, you show me.

...........

 

Can storytellers really tell stories without words?  Will the kids

convince Big Mister Muffett to let them tell stories?

Let me know if you want to do a production and I'll not only

send you the script, but also the children's stories 'Mr

Grumblepuss',  'The Flying Ship' and 'Greta's Story', you need

all of them to produce this play, which ran at Theatre 62 in

Adelaide for a 3 week season.