THE COMPULANDERS
By
Allen Lyne
© 1993-2005 Allen Lyne
8 Redgate Court
Moana Heights
South Australia 5169
Ph. (08) 8 3274142
MUSIC. MILITARY ORDERS ARE HEARD OFF
All
Close that book!
Compu1
We are the Compulanders. We now control planet earth.
All
Yeah!
Compu2
All people on earth are to note the following facts.
All
Note!
Compu1
You are not allowed to read books.
All
Note!
Compu2
All books must be burned at once.
All
Note!
Compu2
You are only allowed to learn Computer language.
Compu1
Nothing else.
All
Right on!
Compu2
You will do as you are told.
Compu1
If you don't do as you are told, we will get rough.
Compu2
Very rough
Compu1
Very very rough
Compu2
Very very very rough.
Compu1
We the Compulanders have spoken.
All
Compulanders rule. Okay?
MUSIC: THE COMPULANDERS SING THE CLOSE
THAT BOOK SONG. AT THE END OF THE SONG
THE MUSIC MAY CHANGE OR MERGE BACK TO
THE SYNCOPATED MARCH WE HEARD AT THE
COMPULANDER'S ENTRANCE. THEY MARCH
OUT SINGING OR CHANTING.
BUNTY TIPTOES ACROSS THE SPACE.
Bunty
Quiet everyone.
SHE TIPTOES TO THE DOOR OR WINDOW.
CHECKS OUTSIDE AND TIPTOES BACK TO
CENTRE STAGE.
Bunty
We musn't get caught.
SHE HOLDS UP A BOOK TO THE AUDIENCE.
Bunty
This is a book. You may have heard about them from your
mothers or fathers. As you can see, it's not at all like a
computer or television. There is no screen, keyboard,
mouse or joystick and there is nothing to switch on or off.
The way you operate it is to simply open the cover and to do
what we call reading. I've chosen this book to show you
because it has drawings in it as well as printing, so even
though you can't read, you can see something that makes
sense.
BUNTY HOLDS THE BOOK UP TO SHOW THE
AUDIENCE THE DRAWINGS.
Bunty
The only way you can learn to use books is by first learning to
use what we call the alphabet. That's these symbols here.
BUNTY HOLDS UP A COPY OF THE ALPHABET.
Bunty
It's really much the same as using computer symbols, so you
shouldn't have any problems. There are only twenty six of
them to remember, although we have upper and lower case
to worry about. I'll explain that later. Once you learn to use
the alphabet and learn to read you will open up the world of the
imagination to yourselves. Then you will be able to teach other
people to read books. So, just to sum up what we have to do.
First we have to learn the alphabet which will teach us the basic
symbols to be able to read. Once we have learned how, we will
begin to read books and hopefully we can then teach other people
to read books too. In our next few lessons together I will begin to
teach you about grammar, but I will explain about that in the next
lesson....
COMPU1 AND COMPU2 ENTER.
Both
CLOSE THAT BOOK.
MUSICAL MOVEMENT SEQUENCE. THE COMPUS
CHASE BUNTY AROUND TRYING TO ZAP HER WITH
THEIR ZAP GUNS. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THEY
ALL FREEZE AND THE COMPUS SHOUT "CLOSE
THAT BOOK". BUNTY ESCAPES.
All
Compus rule!
Compu1
That person had a book.
Compu2
It is strictly forbidden.
Compu1
We will catch that person and deal with her.
Compu2
If she comes back you must send for us right away.
Compu1
If you don't we will punish you severely.
Compu2
You may be banned from using computers for up to a fortnight.
Compu1
And watching television.
Compu2
Think about it.
All
Think about it!
THEY EXIT.
Bunty
Are they gone? Boy that was close. They very nearly caught me.
I don't care what they say, I'm going to keep on reading and
teaching other people to read.
KEVIN AND KATE ENTER.
Kate
Bunty, are you alright?
Kevin
We heard that the Compulanders almost got you.
Bunty
They did, but I got away.
Kate
You've got to stop doing this.
Kevin
Reading is very dangerous.
Kate
If the Compulanders catch you, you'll get into trouble.
Bunty
I'm not going to stop reading.
Kevin
You have to.
Bunty
And I'm not going to stop teaching other people to read.
Kate
But what if you get caught?
Bunty
I'll take that chance.
Kate
You're our sister. We don't want to see you get caught and
punished by the Compulanders.
Kevin
They reckon they've got a way of changing people by
getting them to look into their screens.
Kate
Yuk! Horrible.
Kevin
Please stop, Bunty.
Kate
Please, Bunty.
Bunty
I like reading.
Kevin
It's against the law.
Bunty
The law made by the Compulanders.
Kate
They're in charge now. There's nothing we can do about it.
Bunty
Oh yes there is.
Kate
You're our sister and we're worried about you. Why can't you
just watch television like everyone else?
Kevin
And play with computers?
Bunty
I don't like television and I hate computers. They're awful.
Kate
No they're not.
Bunty
They are so. They should all be destroyed.
Kevin
But television's good sometimes.
Kate
And some of the things you can do on computers are unreal.
Kevin
I like watching Home and Away and B.O.C.
Kate
I like playing computer games.
Kevin
Halo, Tekken. Far out!
Kate
Word processing and spreadsheets.
Kevin
The football and cricket.
Kate
My computer even has a maths program.
All
Yuk!
Kevin
Come and watch some television, you'll soon see how good it is.
Bunty
I will if you read this book.
Kevin
Okay, it's a deal.
SONG. KATE AND BUNTY EXIT.
Kevin
What am I going to do? Bunty is my sister and she won't listen
to me. She doesn't understand that reading is very dangerous.
Why does she want to read anyway? Reading's for nerds
Television's better. You don't have to think. You can just sit back
and watch the screen. If you don't want to watch T.V. you can play
with your computer. Computer games are ace. What does she get
out of reading? Look at this book. You have to go to all the trouble
of reading it. With T.V., all you have to do is sit and watch the screen
THE COMPULANDERS ENTER
Compu1
Close that book
Kevin
The compulanders! It's not my book….
THEY CHASE KEVIN OFF STAGE. MUSICAL
CHASE SEQUENCE WITH THE COMPULANDERS
CHASING FIRST KEVIN, THEN BUNTY, THEN
KATE ACROSS THE STAGE. COMPU1 STOPS
CENTRE STAGE.
…..
Oh, oh, will the wicked nasties catch the kids and chuck
them in jail and throw away the key? Will we ever be
able to read books again? Will everyone work out that
books, computers and television are all okay?
For the answers to these questions, send me an email
telling me you want to produce the play.