THE DRAGON WHO BURPED

 

By Allen & Sandra Lyne

© 2003

 

Music & Songs Sandra Lyne

© 2003

   

An interactive play for children from 4 to 8 years

 

 

© Allen & Sandra Lyne

8 Redgate Court

Moana Heights

South Australia  5169

Ph 61 8 8327 4142

beartwo@bigpond.com

www.bearly.net


For the original production we used a small and light wooden dragon.  This appeared from behind a flat in a cloud of smoke from a smoke machine.  The dragon could become a character and appear in the play for added effect.  But can you get him to breathe fire?  Well, smoke will do.

 

The stage has a throne on it for Queen Goodwash.  There is also lectern on it centre stage for the Wizard to put his story book and book of spells on.  There is a daggy looking palm tree in one corner of the stage.  We also dressed the stage with medieval flags and tapestries.

 

As each child enters, they receive a piece of paper or preferably light cardboard.  On one side of this is a ‘spot’ that takes up most of this side.  On the other side are the words to the chant (see text).

 

We had a colouring-in competition—a picture of a frog to go with a sub-theme in the play.  The audience was invited to colour these in and submit them for judging at the end of the play. With this competition, plus the competitive bits in the play, we always took the competitive element out, so that no child felt inferior because they hadn’t ‘won’.

 

You will note that the wizard exits each time just before the dragon speaks.  If you have a bigger cast, or if your SM can say the lines, you can leave the wizard on.

 

 

Cast:

Queen Goodwash

Prince Cutmorelunches

Merlin the Wizard

As many fairies as you want.

 

 

                              THE WIZARD ENTERS FROM THE BACK AND RUNS TO THE STAGE

Wizard                    Oh… Oh dear oh dear oh dear.  I've lost my magic wand and my book of spells.  Has anyone seen them…?  Oh where can they be?

                              HE CHECKS UNDER THE LECTERN, AROUND THE STAGE, BEHIND THE TREE.  HE COMES DOWN OFF THE STAGE AND EYEBALLS ONE OF THE AUDIENCE.

Wizard                    What about you?  Have you seen my book of spells or my magic wand?

                              HE PLAYS WHATEVER HE GETS AND ASKS A FEW MORE PEOPLE.  WHEN HE JUDGES THAT HE CAN DO NO MORE IN THIS SEGMENT HE RUNS OUT.

Wizard                    Oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear.  If I can’t find them, the Queen won't let me be the Wizard any more.

                              HE EXITS.  THE PRINCE ENTERS.

Prince                     How ya doin’ little dudes?  ...I’m the Prince of this here palace.  My name is Prince Cutmorelunches, and it’s good to see you all here today.  Maybe you can help with a problem here in the kingdom.  See, we got this old Wizard dude, you know, Merlin?  Did you see him before?  He was looking for his wand and his book of spells.  He can never find anything.

Prince                     Well, our kingdom’s been such a quiet and peaceful place for so many years that he’s forgotten all the spells and chants and things he learned at Wizard School, and he hasn’t got his book to look them up.  There’s this pesky dragon that’s arrived here in the Kingdom.  Do you all know what a dragon looks like?  It’s this big green thing with yellow spots and it breathes fire and everything.  And it’s always burping without saying ‘excuse me’, and it’s being naughty all the time.  When Queen Goodwash comes in, she mustn’t find out about the dragon.  You won’t tell her, will you?  She thinks it’s the Wizard who’s burping.  If she finds out there’s a dragon running around the kingdom burping and being naughty and that the Wizard can’t stop him, she’ll get real mad at the Wizard.  You won’t tell the Queen, will you...?

                              THE QUEEN ENTERS.  SHE IS DUSTING AND HUMMING UNDER HER BREATH.

Queen                    Oh, this place is so dusty, dirty and smelly.  It used to be a nice, clean kingdom once.  Whatever is going on around here?

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  THE QUEEN STOPS WHAT SHE IS DOING AND LOOKS FIXEDLY AT THE AUDIENCE.

Queen                    Who said that…?  ...Who made that rude noise…?  ...It was one of you, wasn’t it?

                              PLAY THIS FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

Prince                     Err... it wasn’t the little dudes, Your Majesty.  It was me.

Queen                    You?

Prince                     Yes, me, sorry, Queen Goodwash.

Queen                    Well say excuse me when you make that awful noise. Where are your manners?

Prince                     Sorry, excuse me.

Queen                    You’ve been eating chicken nuggets and chips again, haven’t you?  They always make people burp.

Prince                     Yes, Your Majesty.

Queen                    It’s bad enough that I’ve got that silly old Wizard wandering around the kingdom burping without saying excuse me, without you doing the same thing, Prince Cutmorelunches.  Where is the Wizard?

Prince                     He was in the west wing of the palace trying to find something last time I saw him.

Queen                    Next time you see him, tell him to cast a spell to stop the two of you burping.

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  THE QUEEN QUICKLY LOOKS AT THE AUDIENCE.

Prince                     Uh, excuse me.

Queen                    You had a fizzy drink with your chicken nuggets and chips, didn’t you...?  I’m going to have a nice lie down.  I’m very tired.  That Wizard kept me awake all night last night with his burping.  You be sure to tell the Wizard what I said when you see him, won’t you?

Prince                     Uh, what was that again?

Queen                    Oh, do try to pay attention, Prince Cutmorelunches.  Tell the Wizard that he must cast a spell to stop the two of you burping all the time.

Prince                     Yes, Your Majesty.

Queen                    And if the Prince forgets, (TO AUDIENCE)  you tell him, will you please?

                              THE QUEEN EXITS.

Prince                     So there you go.  Big problem.  We got this dragon burping and being rude all over the place, a Wizard who can’t do his spells anymore, and a Queen who gets real mad.

                              SONG.  EXCUSE ME

 

CHORUS

 

Don't be a 'wally',

don't be a twit;

having good manners

doesn't hurt a bit.

'Stead of yelling, "Hey, you!

Get outa' my way!"

'Will you please excuse me?"

 is what you oughta' say.

 

(Spoken): "Excu…..uu..se me!"

 

Verse One.

           

(Verses are SPOKEN roughly to the same rhythm as chorus.

The stressed beat falls on the underlined word. You can substitute

different childrens' names for 'kylie' and 'Johnny'.

 

Now (Kylie) has good manners:

just ask her Dad and Mum.

She's sweet as sticky Icy-Poles

All melty in the sun.

 

CHORUS

 

Verse Two

 

(Find out a boy's name and use as above).

 

(Johnny) is a rock-star

and (Johnny) is a dude.

He'd never open up his mouth

When he is chewing food!

 

CHORUS

 

"Gimme this!" or "Gimme that!"

young (Freddy) 'd never say.

He'll make 'Australian Idol"

on telly any day!

 

CHORUS REPEAT TWICE

 

Prince                     If the Queen finds out about the dragon, I know what will happen to the poor old Wizard.  The Queen will get a new Wizard and the old Wizard will have to go away.  Maybe you can help.  What do you say...?  Okay, here’s the deal.  Any time you hear that nasty old dragon burp, I want you all to shout out ‘excuse me’.  Can you all do that for me?  Let’s have a practise.  I’ll pretend I’m the dragon and I’ll burp and you all shout out ‘excuse me’.  Are you ready?

                              THE PRINCE BURPS.

Prince                     The Queen doesn’t hear very well.  Can we do it a bit louder?

                              THE PRINCE PLAYS THIS UNTIL HE GETS A LOUD RESPONSE

Prince                     Yeah, that’s it.  That was really good.  Okay, I’m going to look for the Wizard and tell him what’s going on.

                              THE PRINCE EXITS AND THE WIZARD COMES IN.

Wizard                    Ooooooooooooh. Ooooooooooooh. Ooooooooooooh, dear oh dear oh dear oh dear, whatever shall I do.  I can’t find my book of spells or my wand anywhere.  Has anyone seen my book of spells?  ...How about my wand?  Has anyone here seen that?  ...No?  Ooooooooooooh.

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  HE STAYS ON.  THE QUEEN SCREAMS FROM OFF.  THE WIZARD JUMPS.  HE MOUTHS EXCUSE ME AT THE AUDIENCE IF THEY ARE SLOW RESPONDING.  THE DRAGON BURPS AGAIN AND EXITS.

Wizard                    Ooooooooooooh, that awful dragon will get me into so much trouble.  What do you think the Queen will say if I can’t find my book of spells and turn him into a nice dragon?

                              THE PRINCE ENTERS.

Prince                     Aha, there you are.  Have you seen the Queen?

Wizard                    Yes, she's about this tall, has red hair and is really bossy.

Prince                     No, no, I mean did you see her just now?

Wizard                    No, but I know what’s going to happen.  If I can’t find my book of spells very soon, the Queen is going to get a new Wizard and I won’t be the Wizard any more.

Prince                     Can’t you remember any of your spells at all?

Wizard                    I’ve been thinking about them all day.  I do remember the one that turns children into frogs.

Prince                     Don’t do that one.

Wizard                    Why not?

Prince                     We don’t want all the children here turning into frogs  (to audience).  Do we?

Wizard                    Oh, no, I suppose not.  They all get turned into frogs while they are asleep anyway.

Prince                     Do they?

Wizard                    Yes, every night.  They never remember it when they wake up.  I do know the spell that turns frogs into fairies.

Prince                     Oh, good, do that one?  (slightly camp for the adults)  We could use some more fairies around here.

Wizard                    (to audience)  What do you think?  Should I cast my spell and turn the frogs in the kingdom into fairies?  ...Right, I’ll do it.  But I’ll need some help, because without my wand, my magic is very weak.  If I teach you the spell, will you help…?

                              THE WIZARD AND THE PRINCE TEACH EVERYONE THE CHANT.  ALA KAZZAM KAZZAM KAZO, FROGS INTO FAIRIES, GO, GO, GO.

Wizard                    Alright, everyone chant the spell with me. If we really do it loud, all the frogs will turn into fairies.  On the count of three.  One, two, three.  Ala Kazaam Kazzam Kazo, frogs into fairies, go, go, go.

                              SOME FAIRIES WALK PAST AS THE WIZARD STARTS THE SPELL.  THEY BECOME FROGS AND HOP OVER.  THEY LOOK UP AT THE PRINCE AND THE WIZARD.

Frogs                      Fribet.

Wizard                    Oh, no.  That was the spell for turning fairies into frogs.

Prince                     Oops, what will we do?  All the fairies in the kingdom will be frogs.  How can we get the right spell?

Wizard                    What I need is a spell checker.

Frogs                      Fribet.

Wizard                    I know the spell that reverses all spells that have just been made.  Hang on, what is it again…?  I’ve got it.  Fridey in the froot loop, chandy in my zoot.  Zambo zambo, you’re a galoot.

Frogs                      Fribet.

Prince                     It didn’t work.

Wizard                    Ooooooooooooh, my magic isn’t strong enough without my wand.

Prince                     Maybe it will work if we all say it together like last time.

Wizard                    Great idea, Prince Cutmorelunches.  Can we all say that one too?

                              THE WIZARD AND PRINCE TEACH EVERYONE THE CHANT.  THEY DO IT WITH THE AUDIENCE

Frog                       Fribet

Prince                     Okay everyone, one more time.  We’ve got to say it all together and really loud.

Wizard                    All together, one, two, three. Fridey in the froot loop, chandy in my zoot.  Zambo zambo, you’re a galoot.

Prince                     Louder everyone.  One, two, three.  Fridey in the froot loop, chandy in my zoot.  Zambo zambo, you’re a galoot.

Frog                       Fribet.

Wizard                    Oh dear oh dear oh dear.  It still doesn’t work.  Whatever can we do?

Frog                       Fribet.

Prince                     Maybe if we split the audience into three and shout one line each it will make the spell stronger.

Wizard                    Great idea, Prince Cutmorelunches.  These people here say ‘Fridey in the fruit loop’.

Prince                     And from here to here shout ‘chandy in my zoot’.

Wizard                    And the rest of you then shout ‘zambo zambo’.

Prince                     And then everybody shout together ‘you’re a galloot’.

Wizard                    The adults have to shout ‘you’re a galloot too.  It will make the spell so much stronger.

Frog                       Fribet.

THE PRINCE AND THE WIZARD WORK THIS TO THEIR SATISFACTION

                              THE FROG TURNS BACK INTO A FAIRY ON THE FINAL TRY.

Fairys                     Well, thanks a lot.

                              THEY DANCE OFF IN A HUFF.

Wizard                    Thank heavens for that.

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  THE QUEEN SCREAMS FROM OFF.  THE WIZARD AND PRINCE MOUTH ‘EXCUSE ME’ TO THE AUDIENCE IF NECESSARY.

Prince                     This is no good.  We have to find your book of spells or you’re done for.  The Queen will get rid of you and find another wizard.  Think hard and try to remember where you could have left your book and your wand.

Wizard                    Well, the last time I remember seeing them was on this lectern over here.

Prince                     How long ago was that?

Wizard                    Let me see... that would be...that would be… three years ago yesterday.

Prince                     Three years ago?

Wizard                    Or it might have been four years ago.

Prince                     They could be anywhere by now.  Especially with the way the Queen tidies everything up all the time.

Wizard                    Ooooooooooooh, where can they be?  Why can't I find them?

                              THE WIZARD GOES OFF.  THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  THE QUEEN SCREAMS.  THE PRINCE JUMPS.  EVERYONE SAYS 'EXCUSE ME'.  THE DRAGON LAUGHS.

Dragon                   Oh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  I'm a really naughty dragon.

Prince                     You're naughty alright.  Why can't you say excuse me when you burp.

Dragon                   Because I can't.  I'm really naughty and I burp all the time and I do other things as well.

Prince                     What other things?

Dragon                   I steal children's lollies and cakes, and I also steal their socks.

Prince                     Why do you steal their socks?

Dragon                   Because my feet get cold.  I need lots of socks because whenever I wash them and try to dry them with the fire from my mouth, they get burnt.  Look out, children, because I'm going to come and get your socks.

Prince                     You can't do that.

Dragon                   Oh yes I can.  Why don't you all take your socks off right now and save me the trouble of taking them off you.

Prince                     Don't anyone take their socks off.  Cross your legs so the dragon can't get your socks.

Dragon                   Well, I'll get all their lollies later on anyway.

Prince                     Why are you so naughty?

Dragon                   I wasn't always naughty.  A wicked witch put a magic spell on me and turned me into a naughty dragon.  I came to this kingdom because I heard there was a Wizard here who could lift the spell off me.

Prince                     Oh, no, and our Wizard can't find his book of spells.

Dragon                   Whatever shall I do?  I don't want to be a naughty dragon forever.

Prince                     Isn't there some other way we can lift the spell and make you good again?

Dragon                   I do remember one thing I learned when I was a little dragon.

Prince                     What was that?

Dragon                   I remember a very old Wizard telling me that if a group of children did a play, then naughty dragons became nice again.

Prince                     Are you sure it won’t turn the children into frogs?

Dragon                   No, they won't turn into frogs.  They do that every night anyway, when they're asleep.  After they do the play, they have to guess the answers to three riddles, and that's how it works.

Prince                     So the children have to do a play and answer three riddles, and then you turn into a nice dragon again?

Dragon                   That's it.  Do you think the children here today might like to help me become good again?

Prince                     What do you say?  Will we help the dragon?

                              USUALLY THE AUDIENCE AGREES.  SOME LITTLE BOYS WILL DISAGREE IN SOME PERFORMANCES.  THE PRINCE PLAYS THIS UNTIL HE HAS CONSENSUS.

Dragon                   Good luck.

                              THE DRAGON BURPS AND RETRACTS.

Prince                     Does anyone know a good play we can do this afternoon?

                              THE WIZARD ENTERS.

Wizard                    I still can't find my book or my wand.  I did find a storybook.  It's Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Prince                     That's it.  We could turn that into a play.  We'll do a play about Goldilocks and the three bears.

Queen                    Did I hear someone say something about a play?  I love plays.  I want to be in it.  Why didn't you call me?

Wizard                    We were just about to, Your Majesty.

Prince                     Oh, no.  Here's the Queen.  Don't anyone tell her about the dragon or the Wizard will be done for.

Wizard                    This is a play for children, Your Majesty.  Perhaps you'd like to help us get it together.

Queen                    Oh yes, I'd like that.  I love telling people what to do.  Now, who do we need?

Wizard                    We need Goldilocks.  We need three bears, that's mummy bear, daddy bear and baby bear.  And we need some fairies.

Queen                    Couldn't I be one of the fairies?

Wizard                    No, you're a queen.  (slightly  camp for the adults)  Queens can't be fairies.

Queen                    Oh alright then.  I'll just tell everyone what to do.  No, I want to be Goldilocks

Wizard                    Um, you’re too old for Goldilocks, ma’am.

Queen                    Very well, I’ll be Goldilocks’ big sister.

Prince                     Goldilocks didn’t have a sister.

Queen                    Well she does in our story.  And Prince Cutmorelunches, you will play Daddy Bear.  Wizard, adapt the story as necessary.

Wizard                    But you’re not children.

Queen                    Don’t argue with me, Wizard, or I won’t let you be the Wizard any more.

Wizard                    Yes, Your Majesty.

                              THE QUEEN PICKS THE GOLDILOCKS CAST AND WE GET THEM UP

                              THE WIZARD MOVES THE LECTERN FROM THE STAGE AND PLACES THE STORYBOOK ON IT.

Wizard                    Now, I’ll tell the story from here, and the children act it out, okay?

Queen                    Oh, goody.  We’re in a play.

Wizard                    Everybody in the audience has to help by making noises.  I'll tell you when.  Can you all do that for me…? Okay, let’s have a practise.  First there are bird noises  (the Wiz demonstrates).  Can everybody make bird noises…?  Very good.  Next we want a noise like a wind blowing  (Wiz demonstrates).  Can everybody make noises like a wind blowing?  Aha, that’s great.  And last we want a noise like a squeaky door opening.  Oh dear, I don’t know how to make that sound.  Hands up anyone that can do a squeaky door opening?  (he plays this until he finds a good one, otherwise the Queen demonstrates the door and the Wiz gets everyone to copy her sound).  Well, that’s good, now listen for when I tell you to do the sound effects.  On with the story.

Wizard                    Once upon a time, there was a little girl called Goldilocks…

Queen                    And her big sister.

Wizard                    And her big sister... Redilocks.  One day Goldilocks... and her big sister…Redilocks, were playing in the forest with some nice fairies.

                              GOLDI AND REDI FORM A CIRCLE AND DANCE WITH THE FAIRIES.

Wizard                    After a while, Goldilocks and Redilocks got tired of playing with the fairies and went for a walk in the forest.

Queen                    Bye bye fairies.

                              THE PRINCE ORGANISES THE FAIRIES INTO A GROUP AS THEY COME OFF AND SITS THEM DOWN.

Wizard                    In a house not far away were Daddy Bear, Mummy Bear and Baby Bear.

                              EACH BEAR TAKES A BOW AS THEY ARE INTRODUCED.

Wizard                    Everybody say hi Daddy Bear… Everybody say hi Mummy Bear… Everybody say hi Baby Bear...

Wizard                    Mummy bear was cooking porridge for breakfast, while Daddy Bear and Baby Bear set the table.  On the table they put a bowl for each of them...a spoon for each of them… and some milk to put on their porridge.

                              MIME ALL

Prince                     Yummo, porridge is my favourite breakfast.  Do you like porridge, Mummy Bear...?  Do you like porridge, Baby Bear...?

Wizard                    Soon the porridge was ready.   Mummy Bear put some porridge in each of the bowls.  Daddy Bear tried his porridge first…

Daddy B                 It’s too hot.

Wizard                    Then Mummy Bear tried hers…

Mummy B               (with help from Daddy if necessary)  It’s too hot.

Wizard                    Then Baby Bear tasted it as well.

Baby B                   (with help as above)  It’s too hot.

Wizard                    They all burned their tongues a little bit.  They decided that the porridge was too hot to eat straight away, so they went outside to play while it cooled down.

                              THE BEARS GO OUT TO PLAY AND THEY MEET THE FAIRIES.  THEY DO A GAME OF RING-A-RING-A-ROSIE OR SOMETHING SIMILAR IN A CIRCLE AND THEN SIT DOWN.

Wizard                    Meanwhile, Goldilocks and Redilocks were walking along the path in the forest.  It was a lovely day, the birds were singing... everybody make bird noises...  A gentle wind was blowing… everybody make wind noises… and little animals were scampering about in the forest…

THE FAIRIES, HOP THROUGH LIKE KANGAROOS, NOT FROGS

Wizard                    It was so nice that Goldilocks and Redilocks decided that they would come to the forest every day.  Then they saw a house in the distance.  As they drew close, they saw smoke coming out of the chimney.  They knew that someone must be cooking breakfast.  Both Goldilocks and Redilocks were hungry and they wondered if the people in the house might give them some breakfast too.  They were tired after all their playing and they needed a good lie down as well.

 

Wizard                    Goldilocks and Redilocks knocked on the door of the house… everybody knock… No one answered, so Goldilocks pushed on the door of the house and it swung open.  Everybody, squeaky door…Creeeeaaaak.  They went inside and looked around.  Redilocks smelled the porridge.

Redilocks                “Yum. Porridge.

Goldilocks               “Yum, porridge.

                              Both of them really liked porridge.  They moved over to the table and looked at the three bowls on the table.  Redilocks took Daddy Bear’s spoon and dug it into Daddy Bear’s porridge.  She held out the spoon for Goldilocks to taste.  And what do you think she said?

Goldilocks               (with help from Redi if necessary)  It’s too hot.

Wizard                    Redilocks picked up Mummy Bear’s spoon and took a spoonful of Mummy Bear’s porridge and gave it to Goldilocks to try.  And what did she say? 

Redilocks                It’s too cold.

Wizard                    Redilocks picked up Baby Bear’s spoon and filled it with porridge and gave it to Goldilocks to try.  And what did she say?

Goldilocks               Yummy.  This one is just right.

Redilocks                Goody.

Wizard                    And Redilocks ate the whole bowlful of porridge.

Goldilocks               Oh, I wanted some.

Wizard                    They decided to wait until Daddy Bear’s porridge cooled down and then they would eat that as well.  In the meantime they looked around the house.  When they came to the bedroom, they found Daddy Bear’s bed and Mummy Bear’s bed and they found baby Bear’s bed.  Goldilocks lay down on Daddy Bear’s bed.  And what did she say?

Goldilocks               It's too hard.

Wizard                    She lay down on Mummy Bear’s bed.  And what did she say?

Goldilocks               It's too soft.

Wizard                    She tried Baby Bear’s bed and what did she say?

Goldilocks               It's just right.

Wizard                    She lay down to have a sleep... and... err... Redilocks decided that she liked soft beds so she lay down on Mummy Bear’s bed and both she and Goldilocks went to sleep.  The three bears thought their porridge would be cool by now, so they decided to go back to the house and have their breakfast.   They said goodbye to their fairy friends and off they went home.

                              FAIRIES AND BEARS WAVE GOODBYE TO EACH OTHER

Wizard                    When they got home, they found the front door open, and daddy bear said…

Daddy B                 Someone’s gone into our house.

Wizard                    They went to their table.  Daddy Bear looked at his porridge.   And what did he say…

Daddy B                 Someone’s been eating my porridge.

Wizard                    Mummy Bear looked at her porridge, and what did she say?

Mummy B               Someone’s been eating my porridge.

Wizard                    The Baby Bear looked at her porridge and what did she say?

Baby B                   Someone’s been eating my porridge… and the greedy pig has eaten it all up.

Wizard                    Just then, the three bears heard Redilocks’ snores coming from the bedroom.  The three bears rushed in. Daddy Bear looked at his bed and what did he say?  

Daddy B                 Someone’s been sleeping in my bed.

Wizard                    Someone’s been sleeping in our beds, said Mummy Bear and Baby Bear. And they’re still in them.  Just then Goldilocks and Redilocks woke up to find the three bears looking down at them.

Wizard                    They got such a fright that they got up and ran away.  The three bears chased them right out of the forest.  Goldilocks and Redilocks didn’t go back to play in the forest for quite a while after that.  They sent a packet of porridge and some milk and note saying they were sorry to the three bears.

Wizard                    The end.  Everybody take a bow.

                              THE CAST SIT THE CHILDREN DOWN AND WAIT UNTIL THE EXCITEMENT HAS SUBSIDED

Queen                    That was very good.  I love the story of Goldilocks.

Prince                     I think it's time we had some lunch, don't you?

Queen                    It's almost time for lunch.  But first we should do what we always do in the kingdom before we have lunch.

Prince                     Not the I Love Lunch dance?

Queen                    Yes, the I love lunch dance.  I like dancing.

Prince                     Who would like to do a dance with us?  Hands up.

                              THE CAST GET THE CHILDREN UP.  THE MUSIC IS ANDREW RICHARDSON’S FLUTE MUSIC.  CAN’T THINK OF THE NAME, BUT IT’S GREAT.  THE DANCE IS A MAYPOLE DANCE.

Queen                    Hmmm…the maypole’s missing.  Where could that have gone?  Never mind, seeing that we don’t have a maypole, you’ll have to fill in, Prince Cutmorelunches.  Just stand over here while the children form a circle around you…

                              THE QUEEN SETS UP THE DANCE.  SHE AND THE WIZARD GIVE EACH CHILD A STREAMER AND GIVE THE STANDING END TO THE PRINCE TO HOLD.  MUSIC IS QUED IN AND THE DANCE TAKES PLACE, WINDING THE STREAMERS AROUND THE PRINCE.

AT THE END OF THE DANCE THE CAST SIT THE KIDS DOWN AGAIN.  THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  THE QUEEN SCREAMS.  THE WIZARD AND PRINCE MOUTH ‘EXCUSE ME’ TO THE AUDIENCE IF NECESSARY.

Queen                    Oh, that’s nice.  At least they said excuse me.  Not like you two.  You should learn some manners from these nice children.

W & P                     Yes, Your Majesty.

Queen                    Now it’s time lunch was served.  I do hope it’s not something like chicken nuggets with chips and soft drink.  Those children are burping enough already.

                              THE QUEEN EXITS

Prince                     Oh, take no notice of her.  It’s not the chicken nuggets at all.  It’s that naughty dragon.  I’m going off the have some chicken nuggets and chips and a soft drink.  Don’t anybody tell the Queen, will you.  And after lunch we'll do the riddles and turn that naughty dragon into a nice dragon again.

ACT 2

Prince                     Howdy again, little dudes. I made up a song about the dragon while you were having lunch.  Wanta hear it?

SONG: THE DRAGON WHO BURPED

CHORUS:

 

I know a dragon, green with spots,

He is rude and burps a lot.

Watch out, he will steal your sweets,

And the socks from off your feet (s).

 

VERSE ONE

 

Dragon wasn't always bad,

Act'al-ly his story's sad.

For a bad witch cast a spell

now he is as mean as...well …

CHORUS)

 

(VERSE TWO: Double the length of Verse One).

 

Dragon came to visit me,

We had cakes and Dilmah tea.

Grabbed the teapot, scoffed the lot,

Didn't even say 'It's hot!'

(Don't go to chorus tune here, but to the start of the verse tune again.)

When he burped and belched and smoked

Fire shot out from his throat

'Whee!' he said, and I replied,

'Dragon! Take your smoke outside!'

 

CHORUS

 

VERSE THREE

 

He was being quite a rotter,

Thought the dinner should be hotter

Put some jalapenos in

And the chilli powder tin.

(Don't go to chorus here but to the start of verse tune)

Dragon thought it would be fun

Not to tell me what he'd done

When I tried the curry stew

 I could breathe out fire too.

 

CHORUS

 

VERSE FOUR

 

He was sorry, thought he'd try

To be helpful and to dry

All the wet socks that were mine

Hanging on the washing line.

So he breathed out lots of fire

And my wet socks did get drier

But they were all burnt and toasted,

Frizzled fried and really roasted.

 

CHORUS TWICE

 

Queen                    Now, it’s time for my daily routine where I tell everyone what to do and how to be neat and tidy.  Let me see, ah, hello all you little subjects, are you ready to be told what to do? ...Right, hands up everyone who cleaned their teeth this morning.  ...I hope you’re all telling the truth.  Did you do it by yourself, or did you have to be told?  I’ll give you all a tick for that anyway.  Who washed behind their ears when they last had a bath or shower?  ...Hmmmm, that’s good.  I hope none of you are like the prince.  He won’t wash behind his ears no matter how often I tell him to do it.  He could grow potatoes behind his ears there’s so much dirt.  Have any of you got potatoes growing behind your ears?  Have a feel behind your ears and see if there are any potatoes there.  None?  Alright, I’ll give you all a tick for ear washing.  Now, who hasn’t tidied up their room?  Well anyone who hasn’t tidied up their room, make sure you do it as soon as you get home.  I’ll give you all a tick because I know you’re going to do it.  What else is there?  Homework.  Hands up everyone who has homework to do.  Is it done yet?  (ad-lib depending on answer)  Who brushed their hair today?  Good, you can have a tick for hair brushing.  Did anyone else do anything that was good?

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  THE QUEEN SCREAMS.  SHE GLARES AT THE AUDIENCE.  THE PRINCE MOUTHS EXCUSE ME TO THE AUDIENCE IF NECESSARY.

Queen                    You’ve all been eating chicken nuggets and chips, haven’t you?  ...And I’ll bet you’ve all had a fizzy drink too.  I don’t think we’ll give anyone a lolly today, not when they’re burping like that.

Prince                     I think we could give them all a lolly, Your Majesty.  They did say excuse me.

Queen                    Hmmmm, what do you think?  Do you think you deserve a lolly?  ...Well, alright then.  All of the children here who have been good this week can have a lolly.  Hands up all the children who have been bad.  None of you?  Fairies, give everyone a bag of lollies, and don’t forget me.  I want one too.  And don’t forget to say ‘thank you’ when the fairy gives you your bag of lollies.  Otherwise you won’t get one next time you come.

                              THE FAIRIES HAND OUT THE LOLLIES.  THE QUEEN GETS HERS LAST AND FORGETS TO SAY ‘THANK YOU’ UNTIL SHE IS PROMPTED BY THE PRINCE.

Prince                     You didn’t say ‘thank you’.

Queen                    I was going to say it.  I was just getting around to it.

Prince                     Well say it then.

Queen                    Say what?

Prince                     Thank you.

Queen                    That’s quite alright.  Why are you thanking me...?  Ooooh, sorry (to fairy)  Thank you.

Prince                     Oooooooooh!  I can’t keep it a secret any longer.  Your Majesty, it wasn’t the children who burped and it wasn’t me who burped and it wasn’t the Wizard who burped.

Queen                    Nonsense. You’ve all been burping for days, and keeping me awake at night.  I’m so tired  (she falls asleep standing up).

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  THE QUEEN SCREAMS.

Queen                    Oh, there you go again.  How rude.  That’s it.  I’m going to take everybody’s lollies back.  Fairies, collect all the lollies.

Prince                     Uh, Your Majesty, Queen Goodwash, ma’am, can I say something.

Queen                    I’m taking your lollies too.  You’re just as rude as everyone else.

Prince                     Don’t take everyone’s lollies.  It wasn’t them who burped… or me.

Queen                    Well who was it then?

Prince                     It’s the dragon that’s doing all the burping.  No one else.

Queen                    The dragon you say?  (to audience)  Is that true?

                              THE QUEEN EXTRACTS THE CORRECT ANSWER FROM THE CHILDREN.

Queen                    The dragon, eh?  Well why doesn’t the Wizard cast a spell and stop the dragon from burping?

Prince                     He tried, but he’s lost his wand and his book of spells somewhere and he can’t remember the right spell to turn naughty dragons into nice ones.

Queen                    Hmmm, alright then.  The Wizard’s useless.  We’ll just have to get another one.  Send the Wizard away.  Get rid of him.

Prince                     Oh, don’t do that.  I’m sure the Wizard will find his book of spells eventually.  Anyway, we know that if children do a play and answer three riddles, then dragons become nice again.

Queen                    I don't know any riddles, do you…?

Prince                     Ummm.  No.

Queen                    I know.  Why don’t we get everyone to ask the dragon to stop burping?

Prince                     Good idea, Queen Goodwash.  Can everyone shout out, ‘hey dragon, stop burping’?

Queen                    Please!

Prince                     Uh, yeah, everyone shout out hey dragon stop burping, please.

                              THE QUEEN AND PRINCE TEACH THE AUDIENCE TO SAY IT.

Queen                    Alright everyone, one, two, three.  Hey dragon, stop burping, please.

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.

Queen                    Oooooooooooh!  I don’t know what to do.

                              THE WIZARD ENTERS.

Wizard                    I found them.  I found them.  I found my wand and my book of spells.

Prince                     Where were they?

Wizard                    Someone tidied them up and put them in a drawer.

                              THE PRINCE AND WIZARD LOOK AT THE QUEEN.

Queen                    Well you shouldn’t leave things lying around.

Prince                     Now you’ve found your book of spells, we’ll be able to find a way to make the dragon nice again.

                              THE WIZARD HAS MOVED TO THE LECTERN AND PLACED THE BOOK ON IT.

Wizard                    Right, let’s turn to the chapter about getting rid of dragons.  Umm, it says here that dragons who burp a lot always try to steal children’s lollies.

Prince                     Oh, that's right.  Quick, everyone hide your lollies.

                              THE QUEEN HIDES HER LOLLIES.

Queen                    No nasty, mean dragon is getting my lollies.

Prince                     And cross your legs again just in case he tries to steal your socks.

Wizard                    It says here that we need some children who are having a birthday... Oh, that's no use.  Nobody here is having a birthday, are they?

                              THE QUEEN AND PRINCE GET THE BIRTHDAY CHILDREN UP.  IF NO CHILDREN ARE HAVING A BIRTHDAY

Queen                    Oh, nobody’s having a birthday today. Hands up anyone that’s having a birthday this year.

                              SHE SELECTS EIGHT CHILDREN TO HELP

Queen                    While they are up.  Let's all sing happy birthday to them.

                              IT IS SUNG

Queen                    What do we have to do now?

Wizard                    Hang on, I’m having trouble reading this.  The moths have eaten some of the pages while the book was in the drawer.  Here we go.  If eight children can play three different games, dragons might become nice.  Hmmm, they might become nice. It doesn't say that they will become nice.  Still, it's worth a try.  Let's try the tongue twister game first.

                              First of all, the children up here have to say 'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

                              THE WIZARD LEADS THEM IN THIS

                              Now, everyone in the audience has to say it with them.

                              THE WIZARD LEADS AGAIN.  DO THIS A COUPLE OF TIMES

                              For the second tongue twister, the children up here have to say, 'She sells sea shells by the sea shore, if she sells sea shells by the sea shore, where are the seas shells she sells by the sea shore.

                              THE WIZARD LEADS AS BEFORE

                              Now, everyone in the audience has to say this one with them.

                              WIZ LEADS AGAIN.  DO THIS A COUPLE OF TIMES

                              The next game is the balloon head race.  You used to play that one, Prince Cutmorelunches, didn't you?

Prince                     Oh yes, I know that one.

                              THE PRINCE ORGANISES THIS GAME.  THE PRINCE AND THE QUEEN DEMONSTRATE THE RACE.  IN THIS RACE, SPLIT THE GROUP OF CHILDREN INTO PAIRS.  EACH PAIR HAS TO HOLD A BLOWN-UP BALLOON BETWEEN THEIR FOREHEADS AND RACE TO A CERTAIN POINT AND BACK AGAIN.  IN PRACTISE IT PROVED EASIER TO DO IT ONE PAIR AT A TIME TO AVOID CHILDREN CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER AND THEN DECLARE THE RESULT A DRAW BECAUSE EVERYONE TRIED SO HARD.

Wizard                    Well, that was lots of fun.  For our third game we have blowing bubbles through the hoop.  The Queen knows all about that one.

                              THE QUEEN ORGANISES BLOWING BUBBLES THROUGH THE HOOP.

Queen                    Yes, Prince Cutmorelunches will hold the hoop and each of the children will blow bubbles through it.  I’ll catch the bubbles and count them to find out who won.

                              THE CHILDREN LINE UP TO BLOW BUBBLES THROUGH THE HOOP, SUPERVISED BY THE WIZARD, WHILE QUEEN GOODWASH ATTEMPTS TO CATCH THE BUBBLES IN A BUCKET.  EACH CHILD GETS TWO GOES AT BLOWING THEIR BUBBLES

Prince                     Oh, that was terrific.  Who won?

Queen                    I don’t know. There are no bubbles in here.  Where did they go?  I know I caught them.

Wizard                    The birthday children can sit down now.  Thank you for doing that…  We won't know if it has worked or not until the dragon comes in again.  Perhaps we should do something else to make sure we've cured the dragon's naughtiness.  Let's see, what else do we have in this dragon chapter.  If children can answer three riddles, then dragons might become nice.  Ah, the three riddles.  I'd forgotten about them.

Queen                    We hadn't, but we don't know any riddles.

Wizard                    There are three in my book of spells.  Is everybody ready to answer a riddle?  Put up you hand if you know the answer.

Queen                    Yes, no rude calling out.

Wizard                    Here's the first one.  Riddle me ree, riddle me roo, have I got a riddle for you.  I'm black and I'm white and I fly through the air.  I eat worms and grubs and I have no care.  I sleep in a tree and not in a bed.  In springtime I swoop and try pecking your head.  What am I?

                              IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE ANSWERS, DO GET IN TOUCH

Wizard                    Here comes the second one.  Is everybody ready?  Remember to put up your hand if you know the answer.  Riddle me ree, riddle me roo, have I get a riddle for you. I sleep on the couch and I sleep on the bed.  I sleep on the lawn and I sleep in the shed.  I don't come when I'm called, I don't give a fig. I’ve got fur and a tail and I’m small or I’m big.  What am I?

Prince                     What’s the last riddle?

Wizard                    Ummmm, I can’t read it because the moths have eaten that part of the page.

Queen                    Ooooooooooo!  What are we going to do?

Wizard                    Wait on, there’s one last spell here.

Prince                     This one had better work or the dragon will be naughty forever.

Wizard                    It says here that if a dragon sees spots in front of its eyes while the correct chant takes place, it will turn into a really good dragon.

Prince                     That’s no good.  Where are we going to find spots for the dragon to see?

Wizard                    If only we had some spots to show him.

                              THE KIDS SHOULD ALERT US TO THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE SPOTS.  IF NOT, THE QUEEN WILL REMIND THEM.

Queen                    Alright, we have our spots.  What do we do now?

Wizard                    Everyone has to hold up their spots when the dragon appears and we all have to chant,  Oonah Poonah Ponga paringa Osmosis Taringa Poo.

Queen                    That’s the chant that everyone has written on the back of their spots.

Prince                     Let’s practice it even though it is written down.

                              WE PRACTICE THE CHANT

Wizard                    Now we have the spots and the chant and we know when to hold our spots up and when to chant.  How do we get the dragon to appear?  Oh bother, how can we get the dragon to appear?  What did we do last time?

Prince                     Last time we shouted out Hey dragon, stop burping.  Let’s try that again.  All together, hey dragon, stop burping, please.

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS AND BURPS.  IT STAYS ON

Queen                    Now everybody.  Oonah Poonah Ponga Paringa Osmosis Taringa Poooooooo.

                              THE DRAGON BURPS AGAIN AND RETRACTS

Prince                     Oh no.  It hasn’t worked.  Wizard, you go round the back of the dragon and wave your magic wand at the same time as we do it again.  That way it will have more power.  (the wizard exits hurriedly)  Hey dragon, stop burping, please.

Queen                    Spots again everyone, quick

                              THE DRAGON APPEARS.  NO BURP, STAY OUT THERE.  WE HOLD UP THE SPOTS AND DO THE CHANT.  THE DRAGON SHOUTS OUT.

Dragon                   Aaaaaaaaaargh, I see spots in front of my eyes.  I’ll be good and I won’t burp anymore.

Queen                    And you won’t try to pinch anyone’s lollies or anything?

Dragon                   No, no.  I promise to be a very good dragon from now on.

                              THE DRAGON RETRACTS.

Queen                    Well done everyone.  We’ve solved our problem.  The dragon won’t be naughty and he won’t burp anymore and I can get him to dry my socks with his hot breath.

Prince                     What about my friend the Wizard?

Queen                    Oh, I think it’s time we had a new wizard in the kingdom.  What do you say?  Shall I get rid of him and get a new one?  What do you think?

                              THE WIZARDAND PRINCE MAKE FACES AND GESTURESBEHIND THE QUEEN’S BACK

Queen                    Shall I let him stay on as the wizard…?  Alright, seeing that the children want you to stay, you can be our wizard for as long as you like.

Wizard                    Thank you, Your Majesty.

Queen                    And now I think it's time we judged the colouring-in competition.  We have all the entries up here on the wall.  I’m going to use the fickle finger of fate to judge the winning entry.

                              THE FFOF IS A BATTERY OPERATED FINGER THAT CAN BE BOUGHT AT ANY JOKE SHOP. IT HAS A LITTLE BATTERY OPERATED LIGHT IN IT THAT LIGHTS UP WHEN PRESSED A CERTAIN WAY. THE WIZARD CVERS HIS EYESAND RUNS HIS HAND ALONG HE ENTRIES UNTIL HE FINDS THE WINNER.  HE QUEEN CALLS THE CHILD UP TO COLLECT ER/HIS PRIZE.  THE WIZARD PICKS THE OTHER TWO WINNERS THE SAME WAY.